My Freedom Journey
Hello friend, my name is Jimmy Trent. I am the founder and content creator behind Sex Addicted Christian. This is my story.
I can still remember the first time I saw porn. I was 11 years old and a friend had found his dad's stash and wanted to show it off. Not only do I remember when it was and where I was but I remember in vivid detail what I saw. From that moment, I was hooked.
For many years following I would go on to find myself seeing and doing things that are just too shameful to speak about publicly. My story would follow the typical pattern that we understand to be addiction. I was addicted in every sense of the word.
From Sex Addict to Sex Addicted Christian
In 1998 I met Jesus and my life was changed...well mostly. Lots about me changed after becoming a Christian, most importantly my eternal future, but the secret porn addiction didn't. That stayed. I went from a sex addict to a christian that was addicted to sex. I was confused and had no idea what to do with my secret. The shame was paralyzing and I believed that there was no way I could share this secret with anyone. My secret sin was taboo and all the christians around me seemed to be so "good", even "perfect". If they knew my secret, I would face certain rejection. I was deeply ashamed.
I later got married and the sex addiction followed. After that we had kids and yes, the porn was still there. I was at a loss. I had read all the books, tried to hint at my desire for help but I couldn't bring myself to let anyone truly into this secret place.
The Riskiest Thing I Have Ever Done
In the fall of 2010 I was at a breaking point. I didn't know what to do so I decided to do a 21 day fast in hopes that maybe I could rid myself of this addiction once and for all. At the end of the 21 days I did one of the scariest things I have ever done, I told someone.
When I say I told someone, I mean I told this person the whole thing.
All of it. Well, at least everything that I could remember after 22 years of secrets. I still remember sitting at Cracker Barrel across from a trusted friend wanting to throw up my bacon and eggs, mustering up the courage to speak the truth. What will he say, will I lose my job, my marriage, my kids? It didn't matter anymore, I had to come out of hiding and get into the light with my addiction. I had to get help! It was time to take a leap of faith.
The Shame Lifted
What happened next was life changing. My friend received me as I was, in all my brokenness, and pointed me to a God that I thought would reject me. Instead I learned to wrestle with the grace of God found in the cross of Jesus. This began a season of learning that I was not my addiction but a child of God. This truth unlocked a road of recovery from sex addiction towards freedom.
The Beginning of Living Free
My newly found healing of my shame allowed me to begin living more open before others, including my wife. I started doing the deeper work of seeing how my addiction was really a way I sought to ease deeper hurts in my heart. This was something I would have never been able to do if I wasn't honest about my sexual brokenness. But now, I had help.
This season of getting beneath my porn use to the things I was truly desiring has proven to be a necessary part of my living free. Sex addiction wasn't my true enemy, it was just a way I was seeking to manage my world apart from God.
My Life of Freedom
Here I am, 10 years later after having "come clean" about by sex addiction. The road has not been a perfect one. I have sinned sexually in the last decade. I have had to confess that to friends and to my wife. However, I have progressed. A lot in fact. And by God's grace, I will continue on this road of progress (or sanctification for you theologians).
But I can say this, I am free! Sex does not hold onto me and it hasn't for a long time. In addition to that, God has redeemed sex in my life. He has taught me the gift of sex and its beauty in His design. Sex is now something that I can enjoy and not something that is shameful. Sex was once the center of my life. Now it is a part of my life. A healthy part.
Now it is your turn. Your moment to take the risk of sharing your story and finding God's grace for your shame. Your turn to begin the journey towards freedom. Your turn to leave the addiction behind and experience life as God designed it.
I'm here to help.
Now is the time! Embark on your journey to freedom right now.
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