As a sex addict you likely tend to keep track of how many days it has been since you last looked a porn, masturbated, or acted out in some other way.
This often leads to increased shame (if it's been a short amount of time) or pride (if it's been longer). Both of which are bad and do not lead you to freedom.
New flash, God isn't keeping score of your sobriety date. He isn't concerned about whether you have a 1 week chip or a 30 day chip or a 1 year chip.
God is interested in Jesus' sobriety, his perfection, his work on your behalf. He wants you to look at Jesus and his life of good behavior. He wants you to rest on Jesus' performance for you and not on your performance for Him.
The pathway to freedom from sex addiction is aiming at progress in your recovery, not perfection. God isn't keeping score. Score keeping is another form of slavery.
Video Mentioned: Why am I watching porn? https://youtu.be/wTuK9leRkqk
Read: 6 Reasons we are drawn to porn https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/bZAWP
What exactly did you watch when you last looked at porn? What were the words you typed into the search bar?
The answer to this question is invaluable to your recovery. Your searches can lead to your freedom.
By investigating the specifics of your pornography choice history or taking account of your specific sexually unwanted behaviors you can learn a lot about the reason that you continue to run back to them.
In today's discussion I want to help you uncover the deeper motives of why you stay stuck in your sex addiction and equip you to walk in freedom.
Full length video: Overcoming Sexual Lusts & Temptation
Are you a porn worshiper?
It’s an odd question, I know. Have you ever thought about worship including your sins and struggles and not just good christian behaviors?
When God made you, He made you a worshiper, like at all times a worshiper.
What that means is that you are worshiping every moment of your life. If you are breathing, you are worshiping. If that is the case, then when you are watching porn or participating in sexually broken behaviors, you are worshiping!
I want you to understand this because if you are able to, then I truly believe you will close in on your freedom. You are not your addiction, you were made for so much more.
Full Length Video: Porn is not your problem https://youtu.be/u4caqg0-_0A
Do you want to know why you keep running back to pornography?
It is too common of a thought that there is some recovery hack that will allow us be able to stop watching porn. We think that we just need to read a book, attend a recovery meeting, or create stiff consequences. (Seriously, some have assigned push ups for masturbating as if they might deter sexually unwanted behaviors)
Here is the truth about your porn addiction. Your behaviors are rooted deep in your heart. Until you uncover the drive underneath, you will not be free from sex addiction.
This week I want to help you start the process of finding out the reason you run to pornography. Your freedom is waiting.
So you are addicted to looking at porn? Can I ask you a serious question? I promise I'm not being sarcastic and I would like an honest answer.
Do you want to stop?
Of course you do, right? That's why you are reading this or stumbled on this video. But let me ask it another way. What do your actions say about your desires?
Sometimes our lack of change and our continued slavery to our our sexually unwanted behaviors or addiction is because we want sex more than we want our freedom.
I want us to have an honest conversation about what you really desire. It's time to choose, porn or freedom.
Links Mentioned: Register for SHE Conference (link at bottom of page): https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/kBQKn
"If you are a woman struggling with pornography and unwanted sexual behaviors, there is an army of women who hear you, see you, and more importantly, understand you—because we’ve been there too."
Meet Joy Pedrow Skarka: https://joypedrow.com
Meet Jessica Harris: https://beggarsdaughter.com
Blog: To the Woman Addicted to Porn - You are not alone: https://www.cru.org/us/en/blog/life-and-relationships/women/to-the-woman-addicted-to-porn-youre-not-alone.html
Blog: 4 Revelations About Women and Porn | Psychology Today | Sarah Hunter Murray Ph.D.: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/myths-desire/201806/4-revelations-about-women-and-porn
We have kept this secret too long! Women struggle with sexual addictions too!
As I have sought to help others with their lust and porn struggles I get women asking me often, “Are you going to be focused on just...
Additional Resources: Confessing Porn Struggles to Your Spouse: https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/JEka2
Masturbation a Sin? https://youtu.be/bejS8wL-Cw4
You Just Got Caught: Now What? https://youtu.be/vzVgz9AG26g
Do I have to tell my spouse (husband or wife) that I have been looking at porn? What about confessing having had an affair? Can anything good come from sharing my secret addiction with them? How will they respond? What will come of my marriage?
You have many questions, friend. I know. I talk with many asking the same questions. It is a scary thing to consider doing. I know. I've been there.
I want to help you understand 3 things as you consider confessing your sexual sin and acting out to your spouse.
If you are considering sharing your secret with your spouse, please watch this video first. This will help you know how to better think about this step and be best prepared to do it in a way that will serve your recovery.
Free Ebook: Your Brain On Porn https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/3nDAM
Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William M. Struthers https://www.amazon.com/dp/0830837000/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_x_oDRqFb4M8R84Z
Video Mentioned: Why am I watching porn? https://youtu.be/wTuK9leRkqk
Sex dreams are something that many Christians experience but do not know what to do with them.
Can you control them and keep them from happening? Do you need to repent after having them? Could your sex dreams be a gift from God?
Men and women alike have sexualized dreams (sometimes called nocturnal emissions or wet dreams). This is especially true for recovering sex addicts.
In this video I want to help you understand your sex dreams by thinking through what the Bible says, medical research and my experiences; both personally and in counseling.
Let's discuss these dreams and look for a redemptive interpretation of them and keep you on your road to freedom from porn, lust and sexual addiction.
Learn more & sign up for Covenant Eyes: https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/mAVz7
Be sure to use the promo code "SAC30" to get your first month FREE
When in recovery from porn addiction and sexually unwanted behaviors, using some sort of internet filtering can be a crucial part of your action plan.
Your lusts will eventually lead to looking for a way to satisfy them and an application like Covenant Eyes provides help to you in those moments of temptation.
However, it's possible that you SHOULD NOT use it.
Today I want to discuss with you 2 reasons that I think you SHOULD NOT use Covenant Eyes and then offer you 2 reasons that I think you SHOULD.
Confused? Let's chat today about sex addiction recovery and how internet monitoring software can potentially leave you stuck and also how it can be a big part of finding your freedom.
Video mentioned: A Porn Addict's Friend https://youtu.be/tEBrhsiy6EY
So many recovery plans are based on our strength to be disciplined enough to overcome sex addiction. You think, if I can just assess my temptations and structure my life in such a way to avoid lust and porn then I will succeed.
In my experience, will power wasn't enough. I would maintain sexual sobriety for days, sometimes weeks, but I would eventually go back to it. Pragmatism just wasn't enough.
When I finally uncovered WHY I was running to porn, I started to find true and lasting freedom along with sobriety. This is the aim of our discussion. Finding out your "why".
Why are you looking at porn? Once you understand this about yourself, you are closing in on freedom. HINT: It is probably NOT because you want sex. Let's chat this week and learn your why.
Freedom is coming!