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Why am I watching porn? Understanding the reason we are addicted to sex

Full Length Video: Porn is not your problem

Do you want to know why you keep running back to pornography?

It is too common of a thought that there is some recovery hack that will allow us be able to stop watching porn. We think that we just need to read a book, attend a recovery meeting, or create stiff consequences. (Seriously, some have assigned push ups for masturbating as if they might deter sexually unwanted behaviors)

Here is the truth about your porn addiction. Your behaviors are rooted deep in your heart. Until you uncover the drive underneath, you will not be free from sex addiction.

This week I want to help you start the process of finding out the reason you run to pornography. Your freedom is waiting.

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Porn Addiction or Freedom? Christians need to answer this question from Jesus

So you are addicted to looking at porn? Can I ask you a serious question? I promise I'm not being sarcastic and I would like an honest answer.

Do you want to stop?

Of course you do, right? That's why you are reading this or stumbled on this video. But let me ask it another way. What do your actions say about your desires?

Sometimes our lack of change and our continued slavery to our our sexually unwanted behaviors or addiction is because we want sex more than we want our freedom.

I want us to have an honest conversation about what you really desire. It's time to choose, porn or freedom.

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Women struggle with porn TOO: Speaking out & finding freedom from sexually unwanted behaviors

Links Mentioned: Register for SHE Conference (link at bottom of page):

"If you are a woman struggling with pornography and unwanted sexual behaviors, there is an army of women who hear you, see you, and more importantly, understand you—because we’ve been there too."

Meet Joy Pedrow Skarka:

Meet Jessica Harris:

Blog: To the Woman Addicted to Porn - You are not alone:

Blog: 4 Revelations About Women and Porn | Psychology Today | Sarah Hunter Murray Ph.D.:


We have kept this secret too long! Women struggle with sexual addictions too!

As I have sought to help others with their lust and porn struggles I get women asking me often, “Are you going to be focused on just...

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Do I confess sexual sin to my spouse? 3 reasons to tell your spouse about your lust & porn addiction

Additional Resources: Confessing Porn Struggles to Your Spouse:

Videos Mentioned:

Masturbation a Sin?

You Just Got Caught: Now What?

Do I have to tell my spouse (husband or wife) that I have been looking at porn? What about confessing having had an affair? Can anything good come from sharing my secret addiction with them? How will they respond? What will come of my marriage?

You have many questions, friend. I know. I talk with many asking the same questions. It is a scary thing to consider doing. I know. I've been there.

I want to help you understand 3 things as you consider confessing your sexual sin and acting out to your spouse.

If you are considering sharing your secret with your spouse, please watch this video first. This will help you know how to better think about this step and be best prepared to do it in a way that will serve your recovery.

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Sexual Dreams & Christianity: Are sex dreams a sin? What are their meaning?

Free Ebook: Your Brain On Porn

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William M. Struthers

Video Mentioned: Why am I watching porn?

Sex dreams are something that many Christians experience but do not know what to do with them.

Can you control them and keep them from happening? Do you need to repent after having them? Could your sex dreams be a gift from God?

Men and women alike have sexualized dreams (sometimes called nocturnal emissions or wet dreams). This is especially true for recovering sex addicts.

In this video I want to help you understand your sex dreams by thinking through what the Bible says, medical research and my experiences; both personally and in counseling.

Let's discuss these dreams and look for a redemptive interpretation of them and keep you on your road to freedom from porn, lust and sexual addiction.

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Covenant Eyes Review: 2 reasons you SHOULD NOT use it & 2 reasons you SHOULD for porn addiction

Learn more & sign up for Covenant Eyes:

Be sure to use the promo code "SAC30" to get your first month FREE

When in recovery from porn addiction and sexually unwanted behaviors, using some sort of internet filtering can be a crucial part of your action plan.

Your lusts will eventually lead to looking for a way to satisfy them and an application like Covenant Eyes provides help to you in those moments of temptation.

However, it's possible that you SHOULD NOT use it.

Today I want to discuss with you 2 reasons that I think you SHOULD NOT use Covenant Eyes and then offer you 2 reasons that I think you SHOULD.

Confused? Let's chat today about sex addiction recovery and how internet monitoring software can potentially leave you stuck and also how it can be a big part of finding your freedom.

Video mentioned: A Porn Addict's Friend


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Why am I watching porn? Uncover the reason for sex addiction and how to achieve lasting sobriety

So many recovery plans are based on our strength to be disciplined enough to overcome sex addiction. You think, if I can just assess my temptations and structure my life in such a way to avoid lust and porn then I will succeed.

In my experience, will power wasn't enough. I would maintain sexual sobriety for days, sometimes weeks, but I would eventually go back to it. Pragmatism just wasn't enough.

When I finally uncovered WHY I was running to porn, I started to find true and lasting freedom along with sobriety. This is the aim of our discussion. Finding out your "why".

Why are you looking at porn? Once you understand this about yourself, you are closing in on freedom. HINT: It is probably NOT because you want sex. Let's chat this week and learn your why.

Freedom is coming!

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30 Days NO SEX Challenge: How to break your porn and lust addiction in one month

As a sex addicted Christian you have grown accustomed to a steady diet of porn and lust. You have trained the pallet of your desires to crave the very thing that is slowly killing you.

Many sex addicts have told me over the years that God just isn't satisfying enough for them to leave their addiction behind. But I say, how would you know? Your appetite for God is so dull because you are so used to ingesting porn. It's the reason we keep going back to McDonald's. Not because the food is necessarily and it certainly isn't good for us.

It's because we trained our tastes to want it. But if we were to STOP eating it, for a season, our tastes buds would actually change and we would start to experience healthy foods differently.

This is our aim in the 30 Days of No Sex Challenge. Single or married, I want you to consider giving up porn and all sexual experiences for 30 days. You need to starve yourself of the junk food and learn to feast on what is deeply satisfying.

This may just be the...

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A Friend for the Porn Addict: 3 things to look for when choosing choosing a friend during recovery

As a porn addict you have been living alone, isolated from others. For you to find freedom from your sexual addiction, a close friend will be a necessity.

However, the shame of your addiction has kept you from sharing your struggles with anyone. You want to tell someone, but who? Who can you trust with such a big secret?

Today I want to help you answer that question. In this video we are going to look at 3 things you should be looking for when deciding who to trust with your story.

Listen closely today and find someone who exemplifies these 3 character traits and plan a time to start letting them into your story.

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Crush the Shame of Sex Addiction: 4 keys to overcoming the shame of pornography

Shame has more people stuck in a sexually broken lifestyle than anything else. It is far too common that you get pulled into the shame cycle and it's power sucks you in leading to more and more addictive acting out.

We have to understand shame, our typical responses to it and consider what God’s response to our shame is so we might break this cycle and find our freedom.

Today we are going to take at look at 4 aspects of shame that will end with solving the shame of your sex addiction.

This video is a flagship pillar that you must get in place if you want to have any hope of living a life without your addiction.

I hope this conversation sets you on your way to freedom!

4 Keys To Understanding Your Shame:

  1. Life Without Shame: The Garden of Eden
  2. Shame Begins Where Trust Ends
  3. Our Responses to Our Shame
  4. God's Response to Our Shame
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